Packers Redemption Tour
Written by Chris Weathers   
Wednesday, 14 October 2009 16:40

redemption

Roll up for the Green Bay Packer Redemption Tour. NO SILLY, not Brett Favre's uberboring revenge orgy. I am waxing pointless for Detroit Lion defensive tackle Grady Jackson, number 90 on the field, number one in your hearts and/or stomachs. This ornery beastmaster is ready to smash his former employer, and unlike Brett Favre, he can exact physical revenge. CHECK IT, dude has seven tackles in five games. He plans on doubling that number Sunday. And I DON'T mean the number of games, WHAT!

GJ is a Drew Rosenhaus larvae, and he felt slighted when the Green Bay Packers wouldn't re-sign him in 2005. Despite reporting for camp and playing the entire season without a new contract, Jackson was not given carte blanche at the postgame spread, I mean a new contract. Rosenhaus specifically demanded dark chocolate fondue after wins and Gouda cheese fondue after losses. Rosenhaus also requested *insert fat joke*. Jackson moved on, and in 2006 with the Falcons, he led the NFL in tackles for loss. The Packers realized the error of their ways, releasing a press release entitled "re: expansion of the postgame spread to include imported raw meats and cheeses, as well as caviar tacos." The Packer brass figured Jackson would be drawn to this like a fancy pig in expensive slop. He was not. They had burned that bridge with napalm, son.

So Jackson did what any ex-Packer would do, he signed with a team in the same division. On March 4th, 2009, Jackson proclaimed:

"Ok, you've had your fun. I'll give you one more chance, and if you don't clear out now, there'll be real trouble. I mean it, Ted Thompson."

Jackson then went on a tangential rant about Ted Thompson's hunger for fetal kitten.

Make damn sure you watch this game, states in blue. You could buy Sunday Ticket for it, or you could take that money and throw it up in the air during a hurricane. Your pick. For years, nigh decades, witnesses will speak of Grady Jackson's one tackle, one assist performance from hell. If you have Aaron Rodgers on your fantasy team, you may think about benching him, because the stadium will detonate when GJ goes Dragonball Z on everyone involved. A 345 pound ball of hate and aurora borealis.

Pick: Packers 42, Lions 13



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Comments (1)Add Comment
Yep!
written by Packers Fan, October 15, 2009
It's gonna be a blowout!!!!

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Millions of people get the NFL Sunday Ticket package. Its awesome. Many of them also get the Red Zone Channel add-on which is hosted by Andrew Siciliano.

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